Stunning Testimony of Christian Hope Overcoming the Profoundest Loss
‘Courageously honest… A lifeline to those who are struggling … It’s a story that needs to be read.’
Chris Richards, Salt and Light European Team
When Mands Stewart, and Anglican vicar Steve’s, seven-year-old daughter Tamsin was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour, they were devastated. Choosing to trust God, they saw His gracious hand at work in the months that followed, and when Tamsin finally went to be with Him, their story inspired many.
But losing Tamsin was just the beginning. Grief triggered repressed emotions in Mands – and then abusive memories – from when she herself was a girl, leaving her own ‘good’ childhood in tatters. Grieving both for her own daughter, and the girl she thought she herself had been, Mands found herself unable to cope and spiralled into severe depression. Battling self-harm and addictive behaviours, she desperately wanted to take her own life, coming dangerously close a number of times. Yet God was not absent and, little by little, month by month and year by year, He began a profound work of healing that would prove ‘those who sow in tears shall reap in joy’ (Psalm 126:5).
While compellingly honest and refusing to offer easy answers, Two Hearts Dancing is not an account of despair. Rather, in the words of the Rt Revd Esther Prior, Bishop of Aston, who knew Mands throughout this period, it ‘offers hope, not the fragile hope that depends on circumstances, but the resilient hope that is anchored in Christ.’
‘Learning that my Heavenly Father is safe and kind has transformed my life,’ comments author Mands Stewart. ‘Even though I had been a Christian for many years, I wasn’t living in the wonderful freedom that is promised to us by Jesus. It was only after Tamsin died and I became mentally unwell, that I became increasingly aware of the heavy burdens I carried around with me – shame, depression, not being good enough, unforgiveness, pride and guilt, to name a few.
‘On my journey towards wholeness, I have encountered a God who loves us and sees us, and longs to have an intimate relationship with His children. I am passionate about helping others step into that promised freedom, and I pray that my memoir will be a catalyst for others to take courage and not let fear hold them back.’
A key milestone on Mands’ healing journey was the reigniting of her passion for dance and worship, an exuberant response to her experience of God’s love amid the pain. Blending this God-given hope with the vulnerability of acknowledged, irreplaceable loss, Two Hearts Dancing is an extraordinary witness to the enduring and intimate love of God for anyone struggling with trauma, past or present.
‘A brave account of love, loss, faithfulness and restoration.’
Julie and Amanda, the Teddy Bear Ladies, as seen on The Repair Shop
Two Hearts Dancing by Mands Stewart (ISBN: 9781917941037) is published by Instant Apostle on 16th October 2026 and is available from bookshops and online retailers, Autobiogrpahy, paperback, 226pp, £12.99.