A certain stationery store used to advertise its back-to-school range in late August using the opening lines from the song ‘It’s the most wonderful time of the year’. Unless you’re a teacher, you’ll probably have some sympathy with this sentiment: school holidays can be fun, but they also tend to turn parents prematurely grey.
The main character in my book, Becky, predicts in her diary that half term will be ‘a really special time for our family’. Reality hits an hour later: her two-year-old has broken one of her son’s toys, and he’s responded by hitting his sister over the head with a plastic hammer. Meanwhile, the eldest is sulking because she’s not allowed to have eight friends round for a sleepover, and Becky herself is in tears.
If this sounds uncomfortably familiar, you’re not alone! With this in mind, here are some suggestions as to how to survive the endurance test more commonly known as the Summer Holidays.
Manage your expectations. If you assume that your kids will behave perfectly, keep their bedrooms tidy and be ecstatic about every activity you suggest, you’ll almost certainly end up disappointed. Furthermore, putting pressure on yourself to provide the ultimate holiday experience will send your stress levels rocketing, and is guaranteed to end in self-recrimination when things don’t play out as you’d hoped. And while it’s often wise to restrict screen time, don’t berate yourself if some days they watch more than you’d like.
Try, too, to resist the compulsion to provide constant entertainment for your kids. A little boredom now and then is no bad thing, and will encourage them to be more resourceful in terms of entertaining themselves. When my children complained about being bored, I discovered that the best suggestion I could make was that they tidied their bedrooms … it was amazing how quickly the boredom evaporated!
Find structures and routines that work for your family. Look at it from your child’s point of view: in the space of a weekend, they’ve gone from having a detailed routine for the bulk of their day to having no fixed points apart from meal-times … and if you’re anything like me, those tend to fluctuate more during holidays, too. It’s no wonder they get confused and a little grouchy (or is that just me?!). Try not to model yourself too much on what other people do: some families seem to thrive on a rigid, The Sound of Music-type schedule, but most of us fare better with more flexibility.
Having some sort of structure to the day can be helpful, but it’s up to you to decide what that structure should look like, and how closely you need to stick to it.
Fresh air is good (for all of you!). When you have small children, going out can often feel like more trouble than it’s worth – especially if you don’t have to. Any expedition, even if it’s just to the corner shop, takes such a ridiculous amount of planning that it’s surprising anyone without a first-class degree in logistics would even consider it.
However, it’s worth making the effort to go out every day – weather permitting – even if it’s just into the garden. Fresh air and exercise helps children burn off some of that seemingly boundless energy, and usually means they sleep better, too. In my experience, children are generally less fractious when they’ve not been cooped up inside all day (and I’m probably nicer to know, too).
Having fun doesn’t have to be expensive. Ask your children what they want to do in the holidays, and they’ll no doubt come up with any number of ideas, the cheapest of which costs squillions of pounds. (Bad news: the older they get, the more expensive their ideas.) And if you try – tactfully – to suggest cheaper alternatives, you’re greeted with cries of, ‘That’s not fair!’ or (even worse), ‘But so-and-so’s mum always takes her to Hawaii in the summer.’
There are plenty of activities you can do which won’t break the bank: salt dough modelling (look online for recipes), biscuit decorating and building dens under the dining table are some of the things my children enjoyed. Or raid the kitchen cupboards and use rice, lentils, etc to make collages and musical instruments.
If and when your children require something more energetic, organise a mini-beast hunt in the back garden, or see how many interesting things they can find in the local park. (Watch out for dog poo and cigarette ends on this one…) Even better, find another parent to go with – then you’ll have an adult to talk to while the kids all let off steam together.
The Diary of a (Trying to be Holy) Mum by Fiona Lloyd (ISBN: 9781909728783) is published by Instant Apostle and available from Christian bookshops, bookstores and on-line retailers. Fiction, 304pp, £8.99.